Friends or Lovers?Which Matters More? ?

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You might be surprised. The ?Do you think it?s more important for a couple to be friends or lovers?? Icebreaker is our most popular question so far, probably because it cuts to the core of what makes couplehood different from friendships and other types of meaningful relationships. Sexual intimacy is one dividing line; many people define being in a couple by the addition of sex, especially if the relationship began as a friendship first.

It would be easy to assume that sex, being this type of game-changer, would be more important to the relationship?and at least based on our little sample, it?s definitely crucial. Out of the 279 responses so far, 63% said that being lovers was more important than being friends, or said both were equally important. However, 85% gave the nod to being friends, or chose ?both.? So friendship has an edge, about 37% over lovers? 15%, but the real winner here is both?and that choice inspired the most passionate responses too. The need for a balance was probably best summed up by a married gentleman: ?Both are necessary, no friend = no love and no love = no couple.? Here are some other great responses, along with the basic breakdown:

Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, keeping both passion and friendship alive in your relationship seems key. The proportions will likely change over time and with circumstance, but having your lover be your best friend gets high marks from our users.

If you?re more interested in the numbers, here?s how this particular question broke out across gender and relationship status. Men expressed a stronger preference toward the importance of being lovers than women:

And the overall score for ?both? was remarkably consistent across all relationship statuses, although domestic partners/civil unions cast an even stronger vote for ?both? than other types of couples, and married couples had a higher preference for ?lovers?:

It would be interesting to discover the roots of that difference, but we will have to leave that tidbit to those who have more comprehensive data, for now.

Source: http://blog.theicebreak.com/2011/08/17/friends-or-lovers/

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