Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A Man's Perspective?? ?Could Seal and Heidi Have Saved Their ...


By Dr. Bobby Love

By Dr. Love

It occurs far too often. Couples enter a relationship with the best intentions and then something happens. Heidi Klum and Seal, who were married in 2005 and have four children, announced that they had separated in January 2012. Unfortunately, they have given up on their marriage and now divorce is in their future. What happened to the famous couple who were once madly in love? Could they have saved their relationship? During an interview on the Ellen Show, Seal confided that he and Heidi simply grew apart. Ellen did not probe any further, but I think we need to ask ourselves why.

Why is this question so important? If it can happen to a couple ?in love?, could it happen to you and your sweetheart, or a family member or a close friend? Are you struggling to stay afloat in a sinking relationship or maybe you have moved on to your second or third marriage? Perhaps you have decided to fly solo, due to the fear of relationship failure. Awareness is the first step in prevention and we need to discover why couples, who were once in love, grow apart.

Research indicates that ?growing apart? is the root cause of most relationship breakdowns. The symptoms might include irreconcilable differences or infidelity, but the cause needs to be traced back to the fork in the relationship. Couples start out together on the right path to love and then some reach a fatal fork where separations occur. Seal literally swept Heidi off her feet. His marriage proposal was one of the most romantic moments in Whistler, BC. He rented a helicopter and they flew to the top of a secluded mountain for a romantic picnic in the wilderness. As Heidi was drinking in the breathtaking view, Seal got down on one knee and he proposed to her.

Seal?s romantic gesture raised the bar to dizzying heights, for other men to climb. I shamefully admit that I proposed to my wife after a late night party. In my defense, I was a na?ve twenty-four year old guy learning some valuable lessons about love and romance. Fortunately my loving wife said, ?Yes? and our marriage has survived and blossomed for over twenty-three years. Although we experienced some challenging times, we have learned that couples that grow together, stay together. Unfortunately, Heidi and Seal discovered that couples that grow apart, fall apart.

Could they have saved their relationship? We will probably never know the true answer, especially since their separation has now deteriorated to divorce proceedings. We can learn from failed relationships and we can adopt preventative measures for saving and improving our own relationships. We also need to set a better example for our children, who are the witnesses to the health of our relationships. There are too many young people today, who are questioning the sanctity of marriage and the value of relationships. I am sure that Seal and Heidi?s children are experiencing the pain, confusion, and sense of loss related to their parent?s failed marriage. My intention is to offer some hope and practical advice for saving and improving relationships from a man?s perspective:

? Relationships teach us about unconditional love and we need to know when we are the student or the teacher.

? Relationships are partnerships and we must work together for the success of the partnership.

? Maintaining a balanced lifestyle is imperative for making time for our relationships.

? Regular relationship tune-ups will help our relationships run smoother.

? Open and honest communication builds intimacy and intimacy inspires romance.

? Love, laughter, and playfulness are essential ingredients for having fun in our relationships.

? Celebrating our relationships will inspire harmony and happiness.

? Growing together is the secret to building a fulfilling and a long lasting, loving relationship.

? If we reach a fork in our relationship, we must remember that we have two choices: we can diverge on a path to separation or we can converge back to the path of love that we started on together. It is too bad that Seal and Heidi did not converge back to the romantic moment in the mountains.

For more information on how you can enhance the romance in your relationship visit: Dr. Bobby Love is an expert on love and relationships and the inventor of the Syncrohearts Relationship Game. He was inspired to create this game to help enhance his own marriage. He is the author of Dr. Love?s Prescription for Romantic Loving Man.

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